The Beginning

first dateIt took me a little while to think of a first topic. Then I realized, “DUH!!!”, start at the beginning.

The first contact. The first encounter. It can be memorable, or easily forgotten. When we see someone we are attracted to for the first time, the situation or circumstances can influence our memory. The knight in shining armor stopping to change a flat tire will stay in her mind longer than the guy she bumped carts with in the produce section. Beginnings can be something you tell your grandchildren about or testimony at a stalking trial.

I think women will remember when they met someone they are romantically attracted to then men will. This doesn’t mean men have terrible memories or that women are easily forgettable. Sometimes we need assistance shaking the moment to the front of the memory bank.

Being introduced by a mutual friend helps the memory stand out because we can always blame that person if the relationship goes sour. Meeting at a big event or special occasion helps the memory because you will recall something you were doing at the event/occasion that will spark the moment you met. Blind dates usually get a bad rap because the memories too often are not good.

Some of the best beginnings are the ones that happen just by chance. Walking in a park and stopping to watch a musician play an instrument. Standing in line to order lunch and you both order the same thing. Running to catch the bus and you both miss it. Now you have ten minutes to talk about how bad the transit system sucks, and you make a date to meet for drinks the next day.

The beginning can be fantastic, terrible or something sweet and simple.

Until next time, I wish you plenty of love and happiness.

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The Rebirth

I’m not a relationship expert. But I can play one on the Internet. There are so many books and magazines offering (selling) us relationship advice. “10 Ways to Satisfy Your Man.” “12 Ways to Attract Her Attention.” “8 Sexual Positions Sure to Make Her Orgasm.” All of these sound great, at first glance, in the grocery line. Then you read the article and realize it’s the same stuff they said ten years ago that didn’t work then. magazines

Love, romance, sex, and relationships are complex, individual mazes. One size does not fit all. But leaving your mind open to trying different things, can bring refreshing, healthy and enlightening conversations to your relationship.

I admit I am a people pleaser (to a point). I enjoy seeing people happy. I hope everyone looking for or desiring a relationship, will find someone right for them. Not the perfect person for them. But someone they can truly enjoy life with.

With that in mind, I will turn this group into a blog of sorts. I will share my thoughts, ideas and items I come across that may interest you. I hope you you will find it amusing, entertaining and above all, helpful in some way.

Like I mentioned before, I’m not a relationship expert. But I do play one on the Internet. Like most things in –www.lookatme.com–, I think my insights are just as good as anyone else (tongue in cheek). Until next time, I wish you plenty of love and happiness.

Dating within a profession

One of the subjects discussed during a hosting retreat I attended last weekend was dating someone in the same profession. It was not listed as a topic, but it developed from a question during a segment on balancing your personal and professional lives.lovescene1

Some jobs naturally lead to co-workers dating. When we spend a lot of time with people, we will grow a little closer to them. If we find them attractive or nice, we will hold a conversation deeper than, “Good morning. The coffee taste very good today.”

Some professions can be difficult to sustain a long, meaningful relationship. Lawyers dating may end up on opposite sides of a lawsuit. Politicians could be opposing sides of a hot topic issue. Actors going for parts in the same movie, could have one get a major part while the other cannot even get a part as an extra.

One of the biggest problems is having friends in the same professional circle. If the relationship ends bitterly, you have to accept seeing that person at events/functions important to your career. Your friends feel like they have to take sides. Plus you have to deal with seeing your ex with a new partner at these events. There have been couples in the entertainment business with loving, long lasting relationships like Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee.

There will be difficult moments, but communication, respect and understanding can help the relationship survive.

Saying more than hello

Your eyes make contact. There’s a shy smile to acknowledge “I see you checking me out”. Some time passes and you meet up at the punch bowl. Polite hellos are exchanged with a smile, then you go your separate ways. You have seen each other with different people, but you’re not sure if the object of your desire is spoken for. Another opportunity is presented for a moment with just the two of you. Idle talk about the party to break the ice. Now, which of you will take the first big step?

Approaching someone you’re attracted to can be like having a tooth pulled. The discomfort is terrible. But once it’s done, you feel so much better.

With women taking a more aggressive approach to dating, some men feel awkward. When the hunter becomes the hunted, he’s not sure what to do.

When women hunt, everything goes. There doesn’t seem to be any tactic she won’t use to land her prey. Men use their fair share of tricks, but we can never be as smooth as women.

None of this never really matters though…until you break pass hello.

Temptation…

She has a pretty smile. Not a Cover Girl model, Mona Lisa, or politician showing all 32 smile. Just an average, pretty smile. She greets me with that smile each day our paths happen to cross, which isn’t often. We say hello and maybe a few extra words for polite conversation. Then she goes to her space and I go to mine, unlikely to see each other again that day.

I sometimes wonder what’s behind her smile because I’m the curious kind. Some people spark my interest without a clear cut reason – other than their smile. As much as I would like to know more, I resist the desire to ask questions. I may get an answer I like, but don’t need to hear. It could lead to many complications.

I think she has a curiosity too. Sometimes she seems a little shy. There is something in the way she looks at me, but it could all be in my mind.

So we do a dance in our head because it’s a safe place to keep visions hid.

There are various forms of temptation. Given in is not always a bad thing. It can be an experience you never forget. I choose to resist this temptation because past experiences have deemed it wise. So I’ll just enjoy the visions in my head of possibilities whenever I see her smile.

Question of the day…

Why does it seem easier for a woman to let a man into her life than vice versa? I understand many of us need to have someone in our life. We feel empty if we don’t have a “special” person to share events, accomplishments, milestones, or even our bed. At what cost do we open ourselves when we do this?

There are many people looking to take advantage of others when they hang an “open” sign around their neck. And I feel for them when they are hurt. Yes, these experiences should teach us to be more careful in the future, but that’s not always the case. Instead it becomes a merry-go-round of relationships with similar results.

Meeting someone you can trust to truly care about you is never easy. The more self love you give and less easily your “open” sign shows, the more likely you are to attract a true love.

The Sweet Spot

sweet spot 2Mix alcohol, lightly dressed women, and aroused men and women (mostly women) inspired by sensual poetry, and you have a night of entertainment you won’t forget.

An audience where women easily out number the men, The Sweet Spot show offers adult entertainment for the freak in you or the shy but curious side of you. No matter which side you bring, both will come away with a memorable experience.

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On the surface, it’s easy to look around and think it’s decadent, sinful and immoral. But free will and freedom of expression are the cornerstones to a balance and happy life. My expression may not be the same as yours. It may make you uncomfortable at times. It’s meant to do you no harm. Expressing what makes you happy and feel good should be natural and uninhibited.

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The Sweet Spot takes freedom of expression to the top of the cliff, leans over the edge, spreads its wings and soars to heights only your imagination can go. Body painting, dancing, spoken word, and the latest in adult toys will leave you with something new to share with your mate. There are moments during the show when you will hear a serious talk about sex and intimacy, but the night is meant to be entertaining.

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Some of you may feel the need to say a few “Hail Marys” afterward. It will be worth it. When you break the chains and allow yourself to enjoy your freedom, you too will soar to heights you never felt before.

For more information about The Sweet Spot tour, visit www.sweetspotnation.com.